Talk about an event filled morning. This morning I woke up bright and early, very unusual for me especially for a Friday. I am sure though that it was, in some way, related to last night's events and because I had an alternative agenda. The plan was to make it to work at least 30 minutes early so that I can leave a little earlier to the golf course. Everything was going according to plan until the following events took place.

I woke up at 6 o'clock and took a shower to wash off the night time sleeping sweat. I had my cup of coffee and a cereal bar. It begins! I hear my dogs, all four of them aggressively barking in unison, as if one of them had gotten a hold of a cat, again. I rush to the backyard to see what was happening because the last time they did catch a cat it cost me $200. I look and I didn't see my dogs. I look farther back and I see that my neighbor's dog had gotten lose and had come to my back gate. I rush over to "shoo" him away because I don't want my dogs agitated so early in the morning. At this point I am beginning to get irritated because this particular incident has become a morning ritual and it is grinding my last nerve. Anyway, I scare the dog away and head back to the house to finish my coffee. I exit the house and realize that my wallet is not in its rightful place, my back pocket. I run back inside because at this point I'm only going to be 25 minutes early. As I'm looking for my wallet that damn dog comes back and I'm pissed because my dogs go crazy again. I run to the back of the house and pick up the nearest rock to fling at this pest. I throw it, not with the intension of hitting the animal but with the hopes of hitting something near him and scare him off. I hit the empty trashcan and it made a loud hollow sound. The sound was loud enough to scare him off.

I make it to my car relieved knowing that I can make up the five minutes by going 5 mph faster. I grab a cigarette and go to light it but realized that I had left my lighter in my other pants. No matter I'll stop off at the 76 station for a quick book of matches. I arrive at the gas station and decide to pick up a bottle of vitamin water. As I hand the clerk my debit card a hasty patron places his coffee at the edge of the counter. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that it was not properly placed but didn't have enough time to react as the coffee hit the ground splashing me on my jeans and shoes. The clerk instead of taking my card which I tried to force onto her hand rushes over to place orange cones to warn people of the spill. She comes back after a sarcastic discussion with the guy about how to properly place a lid on a cup of coffee. I pay for my merchandise and rush to my car only to realize I didn't get the book of matches I stopped to get. No matter I find an old "crack-head" lighter that I know has not worked in sometime. Clicked the igniter and got nothing. I shook it and tilted it and stupidly pointed it at my face. The lighter lights and I'm looking right at it and it was like looking at a jet engine. The thrusting flame reached my face I throw my head back to avoid it but it got me, I then catch the stint of burned hair. I looked in the mirror and found only hair ashes where my eyebrow was I also noticed my vision was a bit blurry. The flame had also burned my eyelid and apparently did some damage to my contact lens. My cigarette was lit but it had turned black as a result of the fire on my face.

I cleaned the ashes off and head to work, irritated because of some dog, wet from some dumb a** spilling his coffee on my pants, and burned from a renegade lighter and its only 7:30 am. I am now 30 minutes late. I arrive to work only to find out that my golf group cancelled. It is now 11 o'clock and about to go to lunch and if any birds have sh*t on my car I'm going to lose it.

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