I promised myself long ago, never to make fun of old people. That list includes everyone except Joe Paterno. When I was a little kid I wanted Joe Paterno's autograph. I even went as far as mailing a self addressed stamped envelope to Penn State requesting it. About two weeks later I get a call from his Secretary saying Coach Paterno doesn't give autographs. I was pissed; no autograph and no stamps back. Ever since then I have rooted against Penn State. Always. Coach, here is a little payback for not joining my collection of autographed photo's you old meanie.
81 year old Penn State Head Football Coach Joe Paterno is in a hospital undergoing tests and is being treated for apparent dehydration.
Joe'pa, I thought your players were being dismissed from Penn State for fighting and disorderly conduct. Are they now stealing all the water on campus too? Do they play in Happy Valley or Death Valley? Don't they have bottled water in College Station? Drinking fountains? Hoses? No well on Mt. Nittany? A Sparkett's guy?I know you're old fashion coach but they do actually sell Gatorade in containers smaller than what they drench coaches with after big wins. Ever hear of Propel?Evian ring a bell? Stop thinking about win number 373 and start thinking about 64. As in drinking 64 oz's of water a day to stay fully hydrated. 8 reps of 8 ounces, get it? It's ok old man, we won't think you're soft. We haven't yet found a cure for cancer but we have stumbled across a great over the counter potion for dehydration--it's called water.
Who would have thought George Allen would be done in with too much water and Joe Paterno not enough water.
That fricking Global Warming is killing college football.
They need to shut down the entire Athletic Department at USC, seriously. I am so sick and tired of being lied to by USC Athletes. Reggie Bush. O.J. Mayo. That's just the tip of the iceberg, trust me.
ESPN did a great piece recently on "Outside the Lines" where just about everything O.J. Mayo did at USC was illegal. Pat Forde, Senior Writer at ESPN, also wrote an excellent column saying too that USC should get the Death Penalty.
This makes me sick to my stomach. Why in the world hasn't someone stepped in from the NCAA? I bet Jerry Tarkanian is chewing on a towel at some retirement home saying "what about these guys?"
I'm so sick of Trojan players insulting our intelligence. Cars, houses, cash, expensive clothes & jewelry, tickets, for students with no jobs and parents of less than average means. Again, the lies make me more pissed then the deeds themselves. Is that Kim Kardashian skank dating the whole school?
UCLA did the noble thing by firing Jim Harrick. Same with Indiana. Would some Cal Tech grad please remove the word "University" from USC?
USC does know Johnny Cochran is dead, don't they? The guy once saved a USC Athlete from the Death Penalty but there isn't a Dream Team alive that can spin all this bullsh*t coming from Troy. No way. It's embarrassing, really.
I didn't go to UCLA or Notre Dame so no inborn hatred for the school. I just want as close to an equal playing field in all sports. Please don't hate me for that.
Yes, I think Student-Athletes deserve compensation but unfortunately the NCAA doesn't see it that way. Too bad. So until they change there minds, students can't recieve extra benefits, plain & simple.
What's done is done. Please admit guilt. Apologize. Face consequences. Deal with it, make your school better. Stop acting like Martha Stewart.
USC needs a 12 Step Program in conjuction with the Death Penalty because all I keep hearing from everyone over there is denial, denial, and denial.
Tyler Hansbrough is hands down my favorite college athlete. It was James Powell, guard on UCSB Men's Basketball team, but he just got bumped. Sorry James but leaping from the second story of a Fraternity house into a porta pool gets huge points in my formula. How can you not like this guy? I feel bad that he's taking so much crap for just having the time of his life. He's in college, leave the kid alone. He wasn't busted in a campus drug sting; Tyler wasn't stealing laptops from dorms or beating up a girlfriend. The big guy was simply jumping into a pool. It's not a belly flop contest;I don't see a beer bong in his hand. Looks like a fun, spur of the moment decision. Hope Tyler took his cell phone out of his pocket before the big splash.
Lighten the hell up people. Ever go to college? I bet you have a fun story or two, right? So maybe he is risking a potential NBA career, so what? It's his life. Did you draft him in a Fantasy NBA league? Then let the guy enjoy his last year of college.
You know who I'm pissed at? The A-hole who took this picture and posted it on line. Way to watch your stars back. Nice. The guy comes back for his Senior year at UNC and this is how you repay him? By posting these pictures. I didn't know Papparazzi Photographer was a major at Chapel Hill. They should expel your **** dude. Nice Tar Heel love.
I really feel bad for Tyler because I know he's going to hear it from Coach Williams over this. Probably a few UNC alums will reach out and tell him to knock it off. Avoid this type of behaviour... well screw them, Tyler. You're doing it right.
If I'm an SAE, this is my Rush Poster the next decade or two. Wow, if they aren't the best house on campus now, I bet they'll get votes come Fall Rush. Phi Alpha baby.
We need to applaud guys like Tyler Hansbrough, not bury them. You the man Tyler, you're the man! You may be a bust in the NBA down the road but you'll always be a college Hall of Famer in my book.
What just happened? How does a horse run the race of her life, finish in the money, and then break both front ankles on the post race gallop? Was Shaq shooting another Horse Racing Commercial on her?
This is the worst horse ankle tragedy since Jeff Gillooly went pinata to Nancy Kerrigan.
That's got to be on the jockey, right? The 117 lb. guy's fault. He's the guy you sue, right? Good luck with that you rich bastards. Way to go Gabriel Saez. The next horse you ride will cost you a quarter in front of K-Mart.
Did NBC buy the rights to CSI: Church Hill Downs? May is a Sweeps month you know. What a first episode. Where is Madlock or Angela Landsbury when you need them. Actually, Quincy was a huge horse guy, he should solve this case. This can't just be a freak accident. This can't simply be an accident.
Poor Eight Belles, seriously. I feel bad for her. The first horse to be in a winning $2 Exacta Box and leave the track in a box.
Was she shot? Did they stick a needle in her before the Animal Rights people showed up? Did they use a silencer? You're dropping the ball tmz.com. What happened? What was time of death, 4:13 4/5?
"There was no possible way to save her," on-call veterinarian Dr. Larry Bramlage said. "She broke both front ankles. That's a bad injury." So you just cap her? Jame's Cahn broke both his ankles in Misery and they didn't shoot him. Oh yeah, he did take good care of Kathy Bates though. Does Eight Belles have a co-pay before they poke her? What about the Denver Nuggets? You did you save a few bullets or special vials for them too? They need the needle far more than poor Eight Belles.
The field of 20 horses was galloping out around the first turn at Churchill Downs after the race had ended when Eight Belles suddenly went down on both front legs and jockey Gabriel Saez slid off. Seriously, this is worse then Steve Wynn putting his finger thru a Picasso.
"When we passed the wire I stood up," said Saez, a first-time Derby rider. "She started galloping funny. I tried to pull her up. That's when she went down." Down goes Eight Belle! Down goes Eight Belles!
An equine ambulance reached her on the track and put the filly down. I guess equine means horse but why not just say horse ambulence and stop wearing those stupid hats and maybe a few of us middle class people will care about your sport.
And you thought illegal's were afraid of I.N.S vans. Imagine a horse seeing an "equine" ambulance or whatever that thing is. Sounds like Uncle Charle on wheels to me. A Dr. K mobile?
Trainer Larry Jones and owner Rick Porter decided to run Eight Belles against the boys in America's greatest race despite her never having done so before. I hate to play Monday Morning Horse Expert but.....bet you wish you greedy bastards skipped the Derby. And you thought Yahoo Stockholders had a bad day Saturday?
My thoughts and prayers go out to the entire group of rich, spoiled, bastards that drove this beautiful horse to her grave because they all wanted the fame, glory, and attention this race brings them for 5 minutes every first Saturday of May. Then you whore her out for millions in three years. Great sport.
So the New York Daily News reports several "unnamed" sources tell us Roger Clemens had a decade long sexual relationship with Mindy McCready. Mindy was 15 years old when it started back when the Rocket was a Red Sox. And you thought Brittany's parents were bad. Woody Allen is jealous.
Who opened the floodgate? Roger Clemens. My once favorite pitcher didn't financially take care of his personal trainer Brian McNamee so he ratted Roger out. This started so sad because again I was a huge Roger Clemens guy. Now Debbie Clemens, Roger's wife, will have to ask herself why is she covering for her cheating husband? This wasn't a one night pop. Please, the guy pitches once every five days, what is he doing the other four days?
Mindy often flew with Roger? Not only is he in the 4,500+K Club but also quite certainly in the Mile High Club.
Who would have thought such an affair might do more damage to Mindy's legacy than Roger Clemen's legacy.
You brought this on yourself Roger. Damn you Roger, damn you. Did you really think Brian wasn't going to play the Mindy card when you decided to sue him? Please. How are you so smart around the plate but so dumb away from it?
McNamee is by far the better poker on this table.
I can't wait to hear what Mindy has to say. I'm sure tmz.com or Entertainment Tonight will only have to pony up a 12er of PBR and a box of diapers to get her to sing like a canary. I'll be interested to hear but nothing compared to what Spitzer was tapping.
When do the Congressional Hearings go back in session?
