I can't make fun of anyone for wearing too much July 4th flair or dressing there dog up like Uncle Sam because I just watched the last 8 1/2 minutes plus OT of Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. Today we should be celebrating the Declaration of Independence and instead we're celebrating the declaration of being the most obese country in the world by eating as many hot dogs as we can in 10 minutes.

Were there Regional events at  local Hometown Buffets to come up with the Final table? Probably.

So I watched the contest and we all had to listen to the announcer speaking as though we were watching USA beat Russia in hockey, seriously.  Why wasn't this event on the Food Channel?  We have so many channels these days, why not a Fat Channel.  Fat styles, more fattening foods. Fattest recipes. Sexiest fat person.  Why not a new reality show called Biggest Winner?  You know, you have 30 days to gain the most weight; add the most cellulite. If it goes OT, they count chins.  Hey Simon Cowell, just have your people email my people.

So I watched the hot dog eating contest and you know what?  Kobayashi got robbed.  He won that event, not Chestnut, by about 1/5 of a dog in regulation.  Like Kobe even had a chance. A guy named Joey Chestnut losing a close decision on Coney Island.   American vs. Asian on the 4th of July. Yeah, that was going to happen. And you thought Kobe Bryant couldn't get a call in Boston.  Kobayashi was down a dog before the event even started, at least.

So a dog off to decide the Champ? First thru 5 hot dogs wins, are you kidding?  I'm going to write the National Hot Dog Eating Association or whoever has jurisdiction over this event.  You tie after 10 minutes, you go 30 more minutes. That's when I'll start Tivo-ing it. The David Stern Hot Dog guy needs to step in a fix this rule now. They don't need a five dog side car sprint, they need an extra 30 minutes in OT. And while they're at it, no more water.  You get Coke, Pepsi, beer or milkshake. No water.  Who has a glass of water with a hot dog anyways?  I watch NASCAR to see a crash and I really only tune into hot dog eating contests because I want to see somebody blow chucks (time to rent Stand by Me again).  

Sorry about the heart breaking loss Kobayashi but anyone that slams 59 dogs in 10 minutes could care less about their heart.

Guess it's time to ebay my Takero Kobayashi Rookie Card.

Happy 4th of July, eat up America.