I'm feeling good, lookin' good and smelling good and believe me when I say this chicks are diggin' it. So this past weekend I got this job. This big freakin' ballbreaker of a job, right, and we got the area roped off so that some schmuck don't walk through there and take a wrecking ball between the eyes. All of a sudden this woman, you know with the big dark glasses and the Bloomingdale bags, she starts walking right through the ropes and I yell down at her, "Hey! You can't go there ya stupid bit**." And suddenly, this big steam fittin' bursts and this damn crane crashes right down on her legs. And she's screaming, "My Legs! My Legs!" And I say, "No sh**, your legs, you got a two-thousand-pound damn crane on you." Now you know that in an emergency situation you can get superhuman strength? I reach down and I lift this crane and was able to slide her out from under, and the doctors were able to save her legs. So the moral of this story is: don't walk where you're not supposed to walk because there may not be someone with superhuman strength to save your little ass. And don't do drugs.
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